Dear Fellow Gym Member...
By Rob Fitzgerald on September 9, 2009 11:45 AM | Click here to comment
You know who you are. I'm not going to name the gym, but you train at a place in North Hollywood, California. You're about 5'8", 190, you look like Sam Kinison - only in worse shape - and you're probably the most annoying dude I've ever encountered in a gym. This is for you. You're a tool, and I hope you read this...

The Story

So, I'm in my corner in the squat rack minding my own business when this guy comes over to the scalloped rack next to me with a gym bag. He bends over, pulls a bottle of Windex out of his bag and starts spraying everything down - the rack, the plates, and the two barbells he brought over.

He then proceeds to put two 45 pound plates on each barbell, setting one on the floor and one in position to squat with. Then he drops two tens on the floor so he can squat - the utility of this is STILL lost on me - with his heels on them. So, now he has s--t all over the floor, and the entire back corner of the gym REEKS of Windex, which is not exactly what I want to be inhaling when I'm working my ass off and need to breathe.

The first thing he does is a set of ten quarter-squats, with a ridiculously close stance. Then he racks the barbell and immediately does a set of ten deadlifts. Not impressive at all, obviously, but not the worst thing I've ever seen. At least he's "training legs," right?

Sure, but then he does something I've absolutely NEVER seen before. When he finished deadlifting, he immediately SAT DOWN ON THE BARBELL. And that's where he rested. SITTING DOWN ON THE BARBELL THAT WAS ON THE FLOOR.

He did this three times, and then he picked up all his stuff and walked away, leaving the loaded barbell and the tens on the floor, and the loaded barbell in the rack. He didn't come back.

This entire sequence was so wrong on so many levels that I don't even know where to begin. What the hell was the purpose of the Windex, and why wouldn't you then clean the barbell again AFTER you had your ass all over it? Did he think he was cleaning up after all the other tools who sit on barbells?

I have a new idea, spurred by my morbid curiosity with these people. From now on, in commercial gyms, I'm just going to randomly walk up to people and ask them questions:

"What are you doing?"

"Why are you doing that?"

"Why did you just do that?"

I really, really, really need to know what these people are thinking.
 

1 Comment

This is funny as hell. I got a dude in my gym like this. I call him Dr. Diet Pepsi. He does the same workout every time. A superset of assisted pull ups with the whole stack so he's pulling like 5 percent of his weight then he bring a bench over and balances between the pull up machine and the bench and does pushups. He has like 10 minute rest periods in between sets and drinks diet pepsi the whole time. I assume he must of been huge at one time, he's like 6'9". But now he's just my entertainment

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